Depression is… / BITTEN BY THE DOG

Depression is…

11/10/13
What it's like

…like when you were a kid and it was one of your brother’s favourite games to sit on you and fart. You feel helpless. You feel trapped. And it stinks.

…like Facebook. It makes you think that everyone else is happy and you are the only one in the world that isn’t.

…like being a vampire straight out of an episode of True Blood. You don’t function well during the day and are awake all night.

…like watching The Champ. You can’t stop crying.

…like having diarrhoea. It makes it hard to continue with usual daily life, people don’t know what to say when you tell them you have it and it’s totally shit.

….like the hangover you had when you started working in a Mexican cantina and the manager made you taste all the different kinds of tequila so you know what you are selling. You can’t imagine ever feeling OK again.

…like getting your first period. You wish it had never happened, that you could just ignore it and it would go away. But deep down you know you have to find ways to deal with it or you’ll end up in a right mess.

…like banging your funny bone. It’s not funny and it hurts like hell.

…like wearing a sumo wrestling suit. You have no energy, your movements are slow, it’s hard to do anything and even a simple task like standing up requires a lot of effort.

…like when your phone runs out of battery. You feel cut off from the world.

…like the worst ex you’ve ever had. You wonder what you did in a past life that was so bad to have to suffer so much in this one. And it’s rubbish in bed.

…like going on a German exchange and realising that you don’t actually know as much German as you thought. Completely isolating.

…like having a smear test. Awful and you can’t wait for the experience to be over.

…like a thieving bastard. It robs you of the good things you have in your life.

…like when your hairdresser has been scissor happy. You can’t imagine ever feeling confident in public again.

…like herpes. If you are unlucky enough to experience it once, you are susceptible to getting it again.

…like when a dog wees down your leg. A really horrible feeling and you can’t believe it’s happened to you.

…like watching an episode of Jeremy Kyle. Really depressing.

…like man-flu. Completely debilitating and it takes everything in your power to survive it.

…like being stoned (so I’ve heard, Mum). Your brain doesn’t work properly and you can spend an evening, trying and failing, to remember the simplest of things like the name of some chocolate biscuits. ‘They are made by Cadbury’s and they are shaped like animals. What are they called? Anyone? Think it’s something clever. Why can’t I remember? Damn you brain.’

…like an egg. It can be beaten.

Yes I do feel better
Yes I do I feel alright
I feel well enough to tell you
What you can do with
What you’ve got to offer
McAlmont and Butler – Yes