Kevin Bacon’s Birthday

The other Friday I was going to celebrate Kevin Bacon’s birthday. Not because I’m a particularly big fan. I mean he’s good in the adverts…and I loved Footloose…and of course we’re only separated by six degrees, which makes us practically bezzie mates… But it’s still weird that I’d intended to honour his special day. Nah, the only reason […]

Name of the Game

What a wicked game to play To make me feel this way Chris Isaak – Wicked Game

The Rice Pudding part 2

“Are you really doing the rice experiment?” my friend Kimberley asked me, “Or is that just a stock photo?” Am I really doing the rice experiment? Well, it was really me that made a special trip to my local Tesco’s (which is a stressful experience in itself, cause although I’ve been in there almost daily […]

The Rice Pudding part 1

I was stood up recently. On a blind date. Well I say ‘stood up’ but I wasn’t exactly sitting in a bar nursing a Sauvignon, anxiously checking my watch and staring at the door willing every bloke that walked in (even the ugly ones) to be him. I just mean that we’d pre-arranged where, and […]

Dear You

It could be said that blog posts are like buses. You wait ages for one and then two come along at once. You wouldn’t hear me saying that though. a)      Because I don’t think anyone was waiting for a blog post from me in the first place. b)     Because I’m not sure that over a […]

Batteries Not Included

I’ve had some crap Christmases. Like the one where I ended up in hospital shortly after opening my presents. I’d just started enjoying a full English and a glass of Buck’s Fizz when next thing I knew I was lying on the kitchen floor with various relations looking down at me, my mum’s fingers in […]

The Bitch

“Do you want to reschedule?” the girl chirped on the phone as I cancelled my bikini wax. I didn’t. Matters concerning lady garden tending couldn’t have been further from my mind. I was actually finding it hard not to cry. It perhaps would have been acceptable to tear up during the treatment. It is painful. […]

Does Cliff Richard have a Dog?

I took a big, deep breath and logged in to look at the visitor stats for my blog. Of course my expectations were low. I’m aware that I’m not exactly JK Rowling. I’m not even Robert Galbraith before anyone knew who Robert Galbraith was. Plus there was the small matter that I hadn’t posted in […]

Fried Rice

Dear Depression, I mentioned to my friend that I was thinking of trying that rice experiment. I don’t mean the one where you’re showing your family a photo on your phone, a dog barks, you get a fright, chuck your mobile in the air, it lands in your cup of coffee and you need to […]